Having a crush adult

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But psychological astrologer Jennifer Freed, Ph. Freed says that crushes have a lot to tell us about ourselves—she sees them as rooted in our own unmet needs—and that they can actually serve to kick-start our mojo, even if we never act on them. Below, with her writing partner Melissa LowensteinFreed explores the meaning of an adult crush, and what to do the next time one strikes.

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You might have heard the expression, "The heart wants what the heart wants. Whatever the reason why your crush is inappropriate, having a crush on someone is not the problem. The real issue is your own restraint and self-control.

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Crushes are the universal human experience. They unite us, in suffering and emotion. Sure, there are some ways crushes stay the same, but there are lots of things that have changed.

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What is within your control is how you handle the crush. Do you obsess over it, or do you just acknowledge it and then carry on with your life? Note that in this piece, we are focusing on couples in monogamous, exclusive relationships. In open or polyamorous arrangementsthe rules may differ; acting on crushes may be permissible or even encouraged.

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Dear Polly. It was a wonderful relationship and a mature, loving breakup. During the last month of our relationship, we were long distance and open.

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Your middle-school self probably only dreamed of the independence you currently enjoy as a grown-ass woman. B ut, if you told your year-old self you'd still be stressing over three-word texts from a crush well into your 30s, you might not have been in such a damn hurry to grow up. And unlike the wine you might guzzle to deal with that sad fact, crushes just get shittier with age.

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J uly will always be the end of term. You may have been out of school for a decade or more. You may have left full time education at 16 to make your mark on a tax return, if not the world.

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If you've ever experienced a sudden and intense attraction to someone you don't know very well, you've probably gushed to your friends about your secret "crush. Although there's no clinical definition for a crush, there are characteristics that differentiate a crush from a more serious romantic engagement, New York City-based therapist Dr. Mainly, crushes are rooted in fantasy and the person who is crushing tends to project their values onto the person they desire.

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For most of us, crushes are things that we'll experience all throughout our lives. Some of them are fleeting and innocent, whereas others make you feel like you absolutely must end up with the person you're crushing on. But, when you compare the crushes that you have as an adult to the crushes that you had in high school, the former are way better.

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Skip navigation! Story from Relationship Advice. When most of us think of the word "crush," we're transported back to middle school. Crushes feel juvenile, with the giggling and the doodling your beloved's initials in notebooks.

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